WW, why?

joined weight watchers again, third week in, no weight loss, why? because i can't curb my damn cravings. how does one stop that 2 p.m. snack time/chocolate time craving? GRRRR!

political correctness = 1984?

i'm kind of so sick of hearing about all everything that everyone does and people paying the consequences for things they do in their PERSONAL time. it feels like no one has any right to privacy anymore. between, email, texts, blogs and celebrity mags, everyone leaves a trail and anyone can have access to it. where do you draw the line? it's no wonder children don't see it as an issue to take a provocative picture of themselves and post it on twitter or fb or send it to a friend, they don't understand the concept of self censoring. if you recall the tattlers in the book 1984 wasn't exactly "big brother" but it was children against their parents and neighbor against neighbor. i don't think that political correctness is that far of a slippery slope from 1984. if you don't know what i'm referencing or why i'm off on this tangent, i'm talking about the man that was fired from his teaching job for posting a nude picture of himself to an adult website. he didn't use his name, or talk about the school he worked at and he was not targeting or looking for a child to reach out to him - this was an adult only website. yet he was fired from this for lack of moral conduct. the definition of morality is a lot like the definition of obscenity - they mean different things to different people and how does one impose their belief of these things on another without some sort of force? and where does it stop? it's not enough that the department of homeland security has slowly began stripping away the rights of americans under the pretense of "security and safety" but americans are walking around like sheeple, going about their daily lives like nothing is wrong and nothing has changed. we should be ashamed of ourselves. my gut says that this guy was reported because he is gay and the fear that gay men and women are contagious is still so widespread. the fact that you can loose your job for something you do outside of the confines of your place of work is just astounding to me. this goes for political leaders as well, do i find it slightly humorous when an outspoken anti-gay politician is caught with his "hand in the cookie jar" - yes i do! - but i find the fact that they always resign a sign of weakness and a sign that what they are/got caught doing embarrasses them and the only thing they can do is retreat from it. when that is not the case at all, if they could stand up for themselves and the cause i think they'd find that most people in general would respect them and (i'm not speaking for myself here, but my gay friends) i think that everyone who is gay can identify with the fear that comes with "coming out" or "being found out" and rather than shying away from it, face it with courage and dignity and you will find people will treat you as such. okay, i'm off the soap box now.

been a long time....

Geez! Has it really been over 2 months since my last post!?!? Goodness, I’ve been so neglectful. Updates: Ran that Houston half, did well knocked over 40 minutes off my time from the year before. Just ran another half last Sunday and knocked 5 minutes off my time from January, so I am improving that is good news, a sign that all the hard work is in fact paying off. B and I went on a little mini vacation to Fredericksburg, stayed at Barron’s Creekside and we had a wonderful time…we will definitely be going back. Now, for those of you that have been to our house, you know that the backyard is a baron sand box with some sparse bits of grassy life dispensed throughout. Well, although B wanted to tackle this project himself, I knew we’d already bought loads of sand and tried to level things out ourselves and it seemed to be a waste of money and time. Therefore I convinced him to get some quotes from a few folks on leveling things out and they all suggested putting a drain in behind the garage (the lowest point of the yard) and I’m thrilled to say that we’re finally going to have this project started on next week. First the drain will be put in and the following week the leveling of the yard, tilling and laying of sod will take place AND with any luck we will have a lush green retreat in a month or two. Lastly, I have an opinion based questions for everyone. I initially wanted to plant a raised vegetable garden behind the garage with a little gate to keep the dogs out, it makes sense because that is where the compost bin is, however I have finally come to the realization that there isn’t enough sun back there to grow anything but shady vegetables, which are few – therefore, I’ve abandoned this idea until we get a bigger place with more backyard space. So as a compromise to myself, I’m using the clay pots and have planted some jalapeno, cilantro and cucumber plants, and I’m using the topsy turvey tomato hanger to grow some maters – BUT either birds or squirrels keep getting into my jalapeno and cucumber plants – how best to avoid this? Also, and this is my real question, we have a space a HUGE space behind the garage that is totally unutilized and I’m not sure what do to with it. The space is about 8’x8’ and as I said earlier not very well lit, so therefore not too conducive to planting. I thought about maybe putting some pavers back there and a couple of little chairs and a table or a bench to make it sort of a retreat style, but as I also said earlier the compost bin is there. So, we’re sort of at a loss as to what to do with all this extra space. Thoughts?

and today's word of the day is....FLU

today, i'm finding it a bit difficult to be thankful as i am very sick, i believe i have the flu. so i'm sick and it's the week of the half-marathon, i don't want this to make any difference on my run time, i really want to finish in under 3 hours. plus, i hate being sick. i'm the WORST sick person in the world, because i loathe letting anyone take care of me. so, here it is the third day in my quest to "find something to be thankful for everyday" and i'm already struggling, ha! well, here it goes, i'm thankful for sick days as they make me that much more appreciative of my healthy, normal days.

odd

so, i just took a quiz to find my "decorating style", because i'm not certain of all the types/styles out there and i'm not certain what category(ies) that i fit into, i only know that i like something when i see it. anyhow, i took this quiz on-line at thehomestylist and it classified me as folksycountry. wha? i don't see that at all!!! am i missing something? just because i like old furniture/antiques if you will, doesn't mean i'm country, does it? i like the LINES of old furniture, from EVERY era, mod, victorian, art deco....ugh. don't get me wrong,i like a lot of aspects of folksy type decor too, the sort of mismatched looks with beautifully placed clutter works well when someone knows what they're doing...but country, not me. no how, no way, not me. never.

today's thought

i'm thankful for sunday mornings. because sunday mornings my husband always makes breakfast and coffee and serves me while i'm still in bed. he then joins me and we lounge in bed drinking coffee and eating whatever deliciousness he has made. it's great quality time and very, very sweet of him.

direction, purpose and strength

goodness. it's really been some time since my last post, but i assure you it is with good reason.

i guess i should start this post out with the obvious, the new year, new things to accomplish. i looked at last january's post and noticed a lack of this post, so i've nothing to compare it to which in most instances is a good thing.
1) spend more quality time with brent, on a romantical level, but also on that hang-out friendship level. after all, we did start out as friends.

2) try to be thankful and acknowledge a new and different thing/aspect of my life everyday. - who knows i may even turn this into a daily/weekly post. today i am thankful for my my mother nature, it is simply a beautiful day, clear skies and dare i say, breathable air!?!?

3) have more patience with myself, and others. those of you who know me best, know that my time schedule moves much faster than most, sometime to my detriment.

4) be happy, i mean really happy with my body, but not to make this an obsession. now that i've done one half-marathon and have another on the horizon, i am no longer afraid of running and in fact, I quite enjoy it. i've begun to eat very very well sun-fri, thus allowing the opportunity to eat horribly on saturdays. because of these changes, my weight and body have changed, for the better. so this year, i want to tone-up, and maybe be able to wear bikini bottoms when b and i finally take our honeymoon/2-year anniversary trip this october. the key for me is finding the balance of must do this vs. borderline obsession with it.

5) learn and absorb as much knowledge at my new job as possible. polish/perfect my good managerial skills and learn new and improved ones as well. i want my employees to be as happy with me as i am with them. i want to be able to find that perfect balance of motivation and direction, without interfering with their natural ability to come up with keen ideas and innovations of their own.

6) decide already! about having a baby, that is, one day it's "yes, we must have one" and the next it's "i cannot imagine having one more thing in my/our lives to have to do or deal with!" so yeah, thats a pretty heavy decision, one not to be taken lightly.

7) mend broken fences. i feel that perhaps there are relationships i have or had, that have suffered due to ignorance, stubbornness, stupidity or plain old selfishness, either on my part or the part of the other party, sometimes even both parts. i'd like to be able to open myself up to these people again, if they'd have me. i have a flaw in that i love people to a fault, but i can only take so much, so much lying, drama, bs, one-sidedness and when i've had enough i just cut you out. it's just easier than acknowledging that this person is a bad friend or is not good for me or that i may not be the best judge of character. but i need to realize that maybe sometimes I am the bad friend/person/character. the trick to number seven is knowing how to take the first step, see for me the fear is that while i've been contemplating, missing, and wondering about them, they still want nothing to do with me. so is it better to stay hidden and unhurt, or better to lay it all out there and say it was worth a try?

8) spend more time with the ladies in my life. i know we say this all the time, but i mean it. i realize that life can and does get in the way, but it doesn't have to, if we are a priority to one another (and you are to me!) then it's just a matter of finding the best time, and once every three months is better than never at all!

9) church. i've been debating, for some time now about attending church services. but i've grown so tired of the hypocrisy and looking down their noses at me. but the fact of the matter is, i need some direction and purpose in my life, and i feel that church can give that to me. my friend jill and her husband and child attend church, and it's a church they rave about, i'm hoping to make it out there soon to judge for myself.

10) volunteer work. yes, i'm already very busy, as are most folks. but again, i need some direction and purpose in my life, and this is a good way to go about it. giving back truly does feel good, and its good for society as a whole. marx may have been right about conflict bringing on change, but parsons was right about the fact that order in society is needed and there can be no order when people are suffering. so i'd like to find a way to help in that regard.

that is all. perhaps i'll return tomorrow with my thankful post.