never truly happy

as all women know, we are never truly happy with our hair. either the color is all wrong, or the length is too short, but then when it's too long, we tend to just keep it tied back. ugh.

luckily, my color is great, so that's that the problem. the length is fine, well save for the fact that i had it cut right above my shoulders a couple months ago and it tends to the "50's flip" so i have to wait for it grow out.

this is kinda the look that i'm wanting.





but, given b's recent surgery and the fact that he had to shave his head and get 45 staples. i'm feeling i may want to do something a bit drastic, as a sign of solidarity. yes, i realize he's not going to have to chemo or anything like that, but it's a small sign of love. if he has to shave his head, i can cut all my hair off. what's a bit nerve-wracking about this thought, is that i've never really gone this short, intentionally. i mean yes, i did shave my head in high-school, but the first time i did that was because i fried my hair, and no hair was better than mo-hair! ha! i love this cut! anyhow, not sure if i can pull this off though. i've lost some weight so i'm not as "chunky" in the face as i have been.




totally OT. but i'm really sick of the rejections. you'd think with all the meetings i've had over the last year, i'd be used to it by now. but i'm not. and the thing i don't get, is they always seem to love me. don't get me wrong, i've had bad meetings before and i expect NOT to hear from them and i don't. but more often than not, i walk out thinking that went really well, we clicked and this could turn out wonderfully. it's those folks that come back and say "we are really impressed with your background and your skill set and after meeting with you, are even more impressed with who you are, and have no doubt that you could do a great job for us. however, at this time we've decided go with other candidates that better fit our needs." i mean, what does that even mean!?!?!?!

so i end up feeling worse about myself, feeling more stuck and suffocated than before. and wondering why even bother. i know i shouldn't complain, but i'm a woman, so i will!

bloggedyblogblog

well, well, well. i'm still not ready to fully disclosure the emotional ups and downs of the past 5 days, so more inspiration it is.

i found these fab pics over at desiretoinspire.net

I wouldn't do this myself with our fireplace, but i like it.

me likey this kitchen.

check-it, they took those ikea pasta things that we have and under mounted it to an island. brilliant!


me likey this stove. reminds me of the ones they have at elmirastoveworks.com, if you haven't seen those, do yourself a favor and check them out.

on another note, i am going to paint the living room a pale grey color and have decided thanks to dana's agreeing with me, i'm also going to paint the fireplace mantel a dark slate gray. i cannot wait for the contrast and will post pics as soon as it's done.

avoidance

in my best effort to turn my thoughts away from thursday. i'm posting about couches. most of you know, that i love couches. and i've been on the hunt now for a new one for a while. but i have high standards. it must be comfy and roomy, but it must be aesthetically pleasing, mainly to me because i have to look at it daily. anyhow, my dream couch looks like "mod-vintage-chic", and it's been tough to find a couch that meets these criteria, until now. i found these beauties last weekend and took mr. b to look at them yesterday, he agrees that they are indeed comfy, but is partial to the first one, and i am partial to the second one. so, what to do, what to do?

this is from crate & barrel. it's 100% eco friendly materials (huge selling point!) and it comes in a beautiful color called graphite. not to mention, it has the narrow arms of mod-type furniture. it measures, 93" w, 46"d. and b LOVES it. the custom color would make delivery time a bit longer. the only thing i don't like about this sofa is the fact that it isn't "open" at the bottom.

this is from z gallerie and this is my favorite. it meets the mod-vintage-chic look, but it is super comfy as well! it measures 96"w, 40" D and the stock color is perfect, so we wouldn't have to wait longer to actually get the sofa.
so you see my dilemma, right? i mean the first one is more warm and great for family and kids, the second one while super comfy may not seem as inviting as the first one. i'm open to any thoughts and suggestions.

the best message

so i got this message on fb from a girl i went to high school with. we were an unlikely pairing, as far as friendships go. i know it may be hard for you to imagine but i wasn't always so cool and popular(insert large amounts of sarcasm here). i ran with the kids folks called the "lunch box kids" kids who got french fries thrown at them and made fun of for the different colored hair, different clothes and different music. well this girl and i had drill team together, she was apart of the "cool crowd" and she and i became friends. Gosh, could i sound more like an after-school special!?!?!

she had a rather rough upbringing, they were not so well off with 4 kids in the house, her step-mom was not such a nice person. she was VERY well developed and so she got a ton of attention from boys that she didn't know how to handle, so she did the typical thing which is to believe that they really liked her. she ended up pregnant and the father went to jail, shortly after for dealing. she and i fell out of touch because she went to live with her mom and had a baby. well, i got this message from her today. wow. i cried, i'm still crying. it's crazy to think that one simple, small act can really make a difference in someones life. God does work in mysterious ways, I needed this message today, I needed to know that I make a difference. Thank you for that.

"I know this may seem strange, but remember when I was 16 and pregnant and was contemplating suicide and you called my mom. There are some things going on with my daughter that reminded me of that. Thank you caring enough to tell someone."

how soon is now?

I have a confession to make. I read blogs, a lot of blogs. The one’s you see listed to the right here are just the tip of the iceberg. I read decorating blogs, gardening blogs, homemade bread/baking blogs. I love getting decorating ideas and new things to cook/bake. But I’ve found myself wondering, how some of these folks do it all? Most of these blogs are my men/women who are happily coupled up, some are married with kids, some are committed with pets and some are just lovely singles. And of course, most, if not ALL of them are awe inspiringly artistic, and they make it seem so effortless. So let me get this straight, (talking to the writers of said blogs) you’re stylish, cute, sweet, inspirational, a mom/dad, writer, poet, artist, clothier, etc. AND you have time to exercise and cook/bake and work and go on vacations!?!?!?

And that my friends, is the real root of this post, the vacations. I’m not just talking a road trip (not that I don’t LOVE me some road trips) but I mean real life, LONG vacations to destinations far far away. Places that make me say “I want to go to there!” I see all these folks taking trips to far a-way lands and I wonder, how? I mean how do they do it? How do they have it all, the time, energy and MONEY to do all of it!?!?! Most of them have houses, especially the decorating ones, and obviously most of our money goes to our house. But gosh, it’s hard not to feel a bit behind in all of it? When do B and I get there, to the point where it’s not a big thing to take a long, somewhat lavish vacation? I’m not talking a spot at the most exclusive hotel in vegas/la/ny/paris. I mean some hole-in-the-wall join in Santorini (not that there are really hole-in-the-walls there), or a flat above a bar, any bar in Cork County, something like that. How do they have it all and make it seem so effortless and I feel like I’m holding it all together, with some dental floss and a paper clip, it must be the artist in them. Bravo folks, bravo, I can’t even tell which was the brush went.

Houston Craigslist Furniture Finds

I love perusing craigslist. Who doesn't? Anyhow, I found some of the greatest stuff and if I was going to do some massive redecorating, I'd buy all of these things:

1950's antique TV w/new color tube

1960's Mod round table and two end tables

and my personal fav! the
Vintange Sears console radio/record player

soap box, or should i say oil box?

I've kept mum on this subject, because it angers me so, and mainly because I cannot watch the videos or see the images or hear the lies coming from those at fault or the people that are supposed to represent us mouths'.

The reality of what we have done and continue to do to this beautiful planet is so heavy on my heart. So I gave in today, after the weeks of hearing of dead sea turtles and dolphins washing up, an infant whale was found dead and before I even searched out for images of the disaster, tears came to my eyes. And knowing that even me and my family, small as it may be, our personal reliance on oil is partially to blame for this tragedy. And it makes me feel so sick, selfish and terribly ashamed.

The $20 billion dollar "donation" from BP is laughable. The cost of this disaster is more far reaching than that. Lets take a look at the list shall we: (1) loss of livelihood in those that make a living as fisherman and shrimping (2) the restaurant owners who have or will have to shut down because of the lack of fish and shrimp (3) the people who will loose their jobs because of this (4) the kids who will not be able to go to college because their dad or mom lost their job because of this (5) the beautiful creatures that have lost their lives to this (6) the other animals that live off of the animals that have died and will continue to die will also suffer long term (7) those men who lost their lives on that rig (8) the people that are volunteering to help clean up this mess are being exposed to toxins and dangerous efforts (9) and lastly, the long term environmental effects of which we have no way of knowing how far they will reach or how long it will last.

Was the "dead zone" in the gulf during the summer months not enough of a warning sign here? How about the astronomical melting of the glaziers and the fact that polar bears are dwindling. How we, ourselves, as animals, are becoming rodent and cockroach like every-day. And why aren't Americans talking about this? Only those that live in the areas affected are saying anything. The complacency of this nation is admonishing to say the least. And people wonder why I say I'm not sure if I want children. It's already depressing enough knowing that your kid can't play in the front yard, or walk next door without a security detail. Environmentally speaking, I don't want to have to explain to my children what a polar bear was and why they went away. The fact that a species has to have not been seen for 12 years before it's declared extinct is a ludicrous thought. But, now I'm off topic and worked up.

So with the Louis Armstrong song in my head, I will continue to do my best to donate to wildlife relief efforts around the world and of course the BP clean-up effort. But my part in all of this is not lost on me. I am now going back to vegetarian, nary a fish shall pass these lips. I'm already doing Green Mountain clean energy thing, as well as the planet bag thing and the seventh generation thing, organic foods and clothes and of course recycling, I'm lost as to what more I can do, but I will find it, I will find out.

Man, when perfected, is the best of animals; but when isolated he is the worst of all; for injustice is more dangerous when armed, and man is equipped at birth with the weapons of intelligence, and with qualities of character which he may use for the vilest ends. Wherefore if he have not virtue he is the most unholy and savage of animals, full of gluttony and lust. -- Aristotle, Politics