Perspective

At the risk of sounding like SJP in SITC – I’m beginning to wonder if it is really possible for to “have it all”. By that I mean: a good career, a loving relationship, children, family and friends – and more importantly, TIME for all of those things.

Obviously I need a job, I want a job, I like the feeling of contributing to a company or a firm’s or a teams success (not to mention that there are bills that must be paid). I think the key to that is finding something that you love to do. I still haven’t found that yet, but I’ve still got time and I’m trying to make the best of what I’ve got.

The parts to a good relationship can vary from person to person that you ask, as the necessities and requirements for each person is different. For me it’s one part B (yup, I really lucked out there, still trying to figure out how I got so lucky!) one part well, me, we really work together well and it seems like the rest just falls into place. Actually, our relationship is and always has been pretty easy going. Most of that is because, B is a patient, patient man and puts up with all of my idiosyncrasies. But, like most people, we find that it’s hard to spend time together, the good reconnecting time and everyone needs that. Now that school is in and that I’m taking a full load it’s even harder. Poor guy gets put to the wayside because I’ve got to study, and he gets it, in the long run it will all be worth it, but it’s really difficult now. Even when school isn’t in session, it’s always something, some other obligation pulling you in another direction; a work function, someone’s birthday, house cleaning, vet appointments, etc. the two days of the weekend tend to packed full fairly quickly. So how do you keep a relationship going strong for many years to come? I don’t know, but I’m glad I’ve got a great partner to help me figure it out.

Children. Kids. Babies. Grandchildren. Little ones. Padfoots. Ankle biters. Mini mo’s. Mini B’s. These are just a few of the names that various people have asked if we (B&I) would be having. This thought still seems so far away and still terrifying. Really. I can feel the beginnings of an anxiety attack coming on any time I really think about it. That is probably a good indicator that I am no way near ready to be a mommy. And again, this goes back to time. How do you work, find time for yourself, for your spouse and for your kids and time to sleep!?!?! Really? This all seems so foreign and strange to me. Moms, please tell me how you do this.

Family. Everyone who knows me, knows I adore my mommy. She is more like my BFF. And I love our mommy/daughter dates that we have. But even those seem few and far between our daily phone calls have turned into maybe once or twice a week. Again, life gets in the way. And when I’m with her, sometimes, I find myself too tired to really enjoy myself or I find myself treating her like a child and find her excitement or inability to understand something almost unbearable. I do NOT want to feel that. I’ve done this to myself, I put the weight of the world on my shoulders to the point that it makes me irritable towards those I love. Apparently I really enjoy being the martyr. So, how do I stop this pattern? Soliciting advice here.

riends. It seems that the time I get to see my friends is fewer and fewer. Yes, I am very much aware that we all have our own lives to lead. Some with children, some with other things occupying their time, and most doing what B & I do, enjoying spending time with one another as it doesn’t happen often. Yet, I find myself sometimes drifting apart from those I desire to be closer to. I find myself jealous of the time they are able to spend with one another without me, but is just because I miss them and love them and wish that I could spend more time with them.
So, how does one accomplish all of these things at once? How does one have an even distribution of time and energy to devote to each of these things? I look around and some seem like they have it down to a science and others do struggle. I realize that life isn’t perfect and that is the days you expect to go smoothly that the car ends up breaking down. But I guess it’s all about perspective. Great! How do I get some of that?