in response to dana's challenge, here are my seven things.
1. when i was in grade school, i was in a spelling bee contest. i made it to the city finals, one of the last five. i lost on "cornucopia", i believe i placed an "A" or "I" where the "U" is. give me a break, i was 8 or 9. GEEZ!
2. i'm too afraid to go a therapist because, what if all the things i've successfully buried and forgotten about won't stop coming out and i have a nervous breakdown.
3. i wonder if i will ever experience complete and total happiness. by that i mean, that there isn't one thing in my world that i'm not not happy with. i'm sure they call that place heaven.
4. i want kids, but i'm afraid that i'll fail on some awesome level and that i'll find out that i really can't hack it as a parent and i'll be that mom that runs off.
5. my childhood career dreams were, veterinarian, child psychologist, attorney, international business trader and fashion designer. i had totally forgotten about the fashion designer part, until my mom unearthed some of my "sketches" and i must say that i wasn't bad, in fact at least three of the dresses i sketched, i've seen designed by various houses over the last ten years.
6. when i played "doctor" as a child, i never did it with a boy, it was always with my girl friends. is that creepy, or just a sign of things to come?
7. while there are many things on my "bucket list", really the one thing i want to do, the most important thing to do before i die is find my half brother and sister. my biological father was married before my mom, he had two kids a boy, name charles and a little girl, both were taken away by the state of florida because of my father and his first wives drug use. charles was about 10 and the little girl was just about a year old. i have a brother out there somewhere, who is about 40 and a sister who is about 32. i know nothing other than their parents' names, and their approximate dates of birth, and two pictures. i wanted to do this before my grandmother died, but it proved much more expensive and much more difficult than i anticipated.
THE END!
The Charlie Calendar Lives On!
2 months ago
Oh man! I hope you someday are reunited with your siblings. That's gotta be hard knowing they are somewhere out there and you have no idea who they are. Booo!
ReplyDeleteAnd, I think you will be a great mother! Seeing you with children is a blessing...you're a natural. I hope one day you realize the amazing mom you could be and that any child of yours would be lucky to escape your womb.
Oh, and I only played doctor with girls, too. And I distinctly remember liking it. Oh my.
A few things - buried things always have a way of turning up. It's much better to resolve your issues by choosing to do so, as opposed to them forcing you to later.
ReplyDeleteYou will be an excellent mother. You are the single most-nurturing person I've ever met, besides my grandmother.
I'd like to try and help you with this bucket list thing, if I can. Can you forward me their names, parents names, and their years of birth? I might be able to find some addresses for them, we just won't know if they're current addresses or former. I'm excited just thinking about the possibility that I could help you achieve this!
Lastly, I too made it to the 5th grade spelling bee finals where I had to compete against the winners from a few other elementary schools. I lost on some stupid word that I no longer remember, and I was devastated.
And if you don't feel comfortable with my help on that BL thing, I also understand. No pressure.
ReplyDeletethis list was deep! i hope dana's able to help you find your sibs. i'm sure someday you'll reconnect.
ReplyDeleteyou'll also be an awesome mom, when you're ready.
yeah, seeing you around kids makes me feel like an ice queen! if/when i have kids, i may call upon you to give me lessons on how to be a nurturer. and so yes, if you choose to have kids, there's no doubt you'll be a natural at it!
ReplyDeleteand i too hope that one day you are able to find your siblings.
oh and i made the 4th and 5th grade spelling bees, but due to a severe (and still ongoing) case of stagefright, i didn't last long.