we know who you are.

i still can't believe it. it still hasn't sunk in. you're not here and yet you're constantly in our thoughts and hearts. sure i've run the gamete of emotions, denial, anger, fear, frustration, and of course, it's not fair. truth be told, it's not fair and it never is. i find it difficult to form complete thoughts that don't include expletives when it comes to them, i'm jealous that they had the time with you, i'm angry for the lack of consideration and even more angry at the total cowardly acts after the fact. those people didn't know you, at least, not the real you. we know who you are, and we always will. thank you for all you extended to me, kindness and forgiveness and understanding and lots of smiles.

vacation all i ever needed.

i really forgot how being totally out of touch with the rest of the world is so very refreshing!
this is the second week back from paradise and unfortunately, i'm already back to the daily grind. cancun was amazing and beautiful. chichen itza was breath-taking. the resort was fantastical (thanks Rachel Ray!) it was wonderful to sit next to my honey, on the beach chair under an umbrella listening to the waves and reading a book. but 4 days wasn't enough, i could have done 10 more! anyhow...here are a few choice photos from the trip...if you want more go to my photobucket account here (http://s20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/momo38/Cancun%202009/)

This was a beautiful "sink hole" in the mountain.

The resort had a club on-site called galaxy....star wars themed. awesome.

The BIG pyramid at Chichen Itza.

Lovers.

cha, cha, changes.

i can't believe it's been almost a month since i last posted. life is just flying by so fast, i hardly have time to take it all in, let alone write about it on here. anyhow, as you can see my blog as undergone some beautifying, and i must say that i am very happy with the way it turned out. Lyndsay, this lovely lady, mother and wifey set this all up, you can get more info here http://www.beautifymyblog.com/ i've always thought she was the bees knees!

i registered for the houston half-marathon today. the race in january 17, 2010. i thought it'd be a great way to start off my 30th year on this planet, well that and being ms. mahler! but i really want to start pushing myself to new limits, to try new things. not that 30 is old, but these past 30 years have gone by so fast, i remember what i wore to my 14th birthday party and here i am, 30 years old (well, almost) and i fear that if i let the next 30 years go by without forcing myself to step-up to the plate and actually DO all the things i've always said i wanted to do, than i never will. i feel i have to make up for lost time, i spent the majority of my 20's in an intoxicated cloud and it's hard for me to fathom that the last 7 years have actually happened and are now over. so with this new decade in life, comes a new lease on it as well. i hope i don't disappoint myself too badly!

Rants and Raves...but mostly rants.

I’ve seen your type before. I see you on the side of the road; walking the streets late at night and early in the morning, scrounging for food and water. I’ve seen you look at me with wanting, curious eyes only to be frightening when I try to approach. I’ve seen you, your spirit broken and you’ve given up. Please know that your pain is my pain. Your hunger does not go unnoticed; your scares do not go unseen; your death is not forgotten and while you may not have been given the love you deserved, that all deserve, you will are loved now and in your memory I; we, fight on in your honor.

Sorry to be so depressing. I just sometimes am so overwhelmed at the lack of empathy in the human race. How can someone just hit an animal, any animal and continue on down the road as if it didn’t just kill a living, breathing thing. That’s what happened to my Maizey, someone just hit her, and kept going, like she didn’t matter, like she didn’t mean anything to anyone. How can someone pass by an animal, that is obviously is so much pain like they are not even there. That’s how I came about Milo, poor little soul, nearly hairless and starving. Then there are those that are rescued from being tied up at intersections, or kicked out of a moving car, put in a box and thrown into a body of water. I just don’t understand how some people come to be so void of compassion. Perhaps it was never there in the first place, or perhaps something horrific was done to them. But I do understand how it runs around, because any time I see these atrocities committed against a living breathing thing, I too believe that the person responsible needs atone for their sins, an eye for an eye. The people of this planet have an obligation to teach their children right from wrong, to help those in need and to have respect for all living things. While this breaks my heart, I am thrilled to know that there are people out there who do fight for their beliefs. I am happy to know that we can, I do not believe that we are too far gone, but it getting harder and harder to believe that. At the end of the day, there is only a four letter word that can keep people going – hope. Hoping things get better, hoping someone will do something, hoping the problem will go away, but hope is nothing without action.

That ends your PSA for the day.

Re-Fi = ReNu?

So. B and I are “closing” on the re-fi of the house today. So, B welcome to the world of home ownership. Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW that the last 2 years you’ve been at the house you’ve paid half of everything and done a ton of maintenance on the house, so you’re very well acquainted with the responsibilities of home ownership. But now the house will have your name on title as well. I can’t believe I’ve been in that house 3 years already. Gone through lots of changes there; I moved in to the house with my baby girl Maizey and lost her 8 months afterwards. Rescued Milo off the side of the road and lost him a little over a year after. Rescued Mya and her pups, Amelia, Loki and Ethyl – today only Ethyl and Mya remain, but of course added Bruno and Rufus to the brood. So it’s and even household three loud barking women and three heavily shedding men. Although it's been a rough road at this house, a lot of pain with loosing all these babies...I did gain one two more and my B. I love you, B!



(my b!)



(the sweet little milo)



(The babies Amelia and Loki)




(and the doggie love of my life, my Maizey)

drinking myself sober.

so 30 is just around the corner. i'm amazed that i've made it this far, i remember being like 15 thinking i wouldn't live past the age of 21. here i am about to be 30. about to get married, after i said i'd never marry again. but this time it's right. so, turning 30 doesn't seem so scary after all. while the thought that perhaps the next 70 years (if i'm lucky) are for the most unknown, it's the bumps in the road i look forward to most. will i have children? what will i be when i grow up? will we stay in houston? none of this really matters to me anymore. i don't care what happens along the way. i have some amazing girlfriends, really the best anyone could ask for. i have an amazing family. and i have an amazing fiancee. i really am very happy right now, so here's to the next 30 years.

i don't see it.

the big deal about lady gaga. i really don't. i tried, really, gave it a good try...because i do have some bubble gum pop on my ipod, great for working out...but i just can't get into her stuff and can't understand the majority of her fashion choices or the current obsession people have of her.