eyes wide open.

I’ve had this feeling for a while that I couldn’t quite put into words. Happiness just didn’t cover it. Balanced didn’t either. I really and truly have no idea how to explain it all. For the first time, and yes I’m positive that it is truly the FIRST time in my life I feel at home. This really and truly began a few years ago when B and I began dating. He smelled familiar, being in his arms was warm and comforting, he made me smile and laugh like never before, I could get lost in his eyes. I enjoyed every moment with him and spent the moments without him waiting to get back to him. And 15 days away from our wedding, all of this still rings true. Recently, I was reading a friends blog about how she should explain to her young son that saying of home is where the heart is, is where you and the people you love are and it occurred to me that B is my home. I bought our house on my own, and lived it in with a great roomie, but it didn’t feel “lived in” until B and the pugs got there. I have a family now, my own family, my soon to be husband and our little family of four-legged babies. My own private paradise resides at 1140 Dorothy St.

Containing with this theme, as you know I’ve been training for the half-marathon coming Jan. 17, 2010. I’ve been doing anywhere between 9 and 16 miles a week for the past 6 weeks. My scale hasn’t budged, not even a little. But B told me that he can tell I’ve lost weight. So today, I did something that I’ve avoided doing for the last 4 years, I looked at myself, really looked at myself and what I discovered what that I’ve got the beginnings of a runners body. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a way to go. But wow, definition in my calves and thighs, thinner waist and arms, stronger back – it’s all there. I was able to do 3 miles in 37 minutes on Tuesday, a personal best so far. It wasn’t too long ago that I couldn’t do a half-mile without stopping 3 or 4 times. And it occurred to me that this is something I’ve done all by myself, for myself. I feel amazing inside and I feel good about my body, another first in my life.