Top 10 things I can’t live without

I find that the closer to the end of the year it becomes, the more I feel the need to take stock in what my life is; what I have, what I need and what is the clutter that I can do without. I thought the best way for me to do this would be to have a top 10 list, Letterman style, of the top 10 things I could not live without.

1. My family - My husband and our pack (yes, really a pack) of dogs. Rufus and I don’t always see eye to eye on this (as he doesn’t understand why he has to “go” outside) but I love them all. My heart would not be complete without them. And, I cannot forget about my amazing parents, for whom my life wouldn’t be possible.

2. My friends – The only thing better than a night with my honey and our four-legged children, is a night with my ladies. One that involves drinks and either a stage and microphone or some dancing (yes, interpretive counts!). These gals, inspire me daily, make me laugh and they’re hard not to love.

3. The house - I love coming home. It's my haven and I’m thankful for it daily. It’s not exactly where I want it to be, but it will get there. And I do not love it any less.

4. Good food – I love cooking it, I love eating it. Whether it’s discovering a new restaurant or a new recipe, it’s all very ethereal and magical to me. (Especially when pairing it with a good glass of wine)

5. Running – Not something I fully embraced until July of this year and I had to go without in November and I could tell that I was cranky and tired without it. That is my time, time to clear my head, time to spend with mya (my running mate) time to let the world fall around me and time to push my body to the limits. Maybe one day, I'll look like this (hey, a gal can dream, right!?!?!)

6. Reading – I don’t care if it’s a magazine, a blog or a book (okay, yes I prefer a good book) but lately I cannot get enough of decorating blogs and zines (see number 3). Every day there is something new to look at and fawn over, I like to think I’m becoming a bit of a design junky.

7. Daydreaming – Whether it be dreaming of the day I’m finished with school and can move on to find a new job, or the day I find out I’m pregnant or the day I sign adoption papers and I’m handed a little child and hear the words “she’s all yours”. Daydreaming keeps me moving, it keeps me motivated.

8. The past – I couldn’t get rid of it if I tried and I don’t want to. I like to thing I’ve finally learned from my mistakes (yes ALL of them) even if it took me 100 times.

9. The feeling of Hope – The feeling of good things left to come, that yes, life isn’t over at 30, it’s just beginning. I get this feeling every time I’m in B’s arms.

10. Love – Yes, I know it’s cheesy and silly really. But without it nothing would be possible. Without it, I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t have B, without the love of myself I wouldn’t be back in school or running trying to better myself. Without it the lives of at least 10 dogs wouldn’t have improved. Without love there is no one, there is nothing.

lets get political, i wanna get political, lets get into political.

http://www.slate.com/id/2234017/?gt1=38001

This article makes some good points, although nothing I didn't already feel or think already. The whole mary-jane shitck has always seemed humours to me, I mean to classify it in the same category as LSD or Xcasty seems, well, ludicrous. I mean, I don't smoke pot, not that I think that there is anything wrong with it, but more so because I'm over the whole being out of sorts in my mind part of my life. I have friends that smoke pot and for these guys I really do feel that it helps them un-wind, helps them lead a happier life. I realize that others may disagree and feel that really they are living in a clouded version of a "happy" life, but think about it, what if that guy who ran into that Amish class and killed all of those poor kids, what if he had had a spliff in his glove box - people don't go on shooting sprees when they're high on marijuana, it just doesn't happen. (disclaimer - I'm fairly certain this has never happened, I couldn't find anything on it, but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong).

And the whole Cuba thing, man, don't folks know that that just made us the "fat kid at the playground" to the rest of the world. There was no need for it, okay, I get it there was the whole "cold war" thing and we cannot forget the failed assassination attempt - but wait a sec aren't we on good terms with Putin, PUTIN people, PUTIN! He makes Castro look like the grandpa from funny shit dad says, hell, Castro basically IS the dood from funny shit my dad says. The trade and travel embargo put on Cuba by the States so many years ago has impacted both countries negatively, any economist can tell you that and any historian would say the same thing. Now, I realize that there is a whole host of reasons that the embargo was put in in the first place, but I think both the people of Cuba and the US would benefit economically and culturally as soon as this embargo is fully lifted.

Now, the gay marriage thing. This is just funny to me, funny because I cannot believe that there is such an uproar about this. Funny because, in this countries very short lifetime we felt the same way about black people, that they were inferior beings to white people. Couldn't attend the same churches or schools, had different bathrooms and water fountains and entrances to stores. And we cannot and must not forget the lynchings, home burnings, and attacks of innocent people. Then came the civil rights movement, and for all we know, without these brave, self-less leaders this country would still be the vicious racist place it once was. Now, I bring up the race thing only because I see a direct line between the rights for black people equal to the rights of gay people, much the same as black people were chased and hosed down and beaten for their cause, you have people like Matthew Shepherd who die in the same vain for just being who they are in their own skin. It was silly and laughable to thing that there was even a time that a black person counted as 1/4 of a person and didn't have the same rights as a white person, I find it equally as silly that a gay woman or man doesn't have the same rights as a straight woman or man. I hope, that somewhere in the very near future we can get over ourselves and see that love is love is love and regardless of your orientation if there are two consenting adults that want to be married - than they should have the right to do so, they should have the right to name their "partner" as their husband or their wife, they should have the right to adopt just as much as the straight couple in the house next to them. I thought that church and state were separate, so how can state put a rule on what the bible says or what God feels?

I am now stepping off my soap box.

can we talk?

Maybe it's the fact that the wedding planning is over and I feel a surge of "free" time or maybe it's that my moms and I went to the Houston Urban Market this past Sunday, and I fell in lurve with lots of stuff, whever it is, I've got it bad.

For seres. I’m in décor searching mode. I’m seriously obsessed with finding the perfect paint for the living room and dining room, I’ve already decided on yellow for the bathroom so that it looks something like this:

And I will own this sink:

And I found this on Etsy that would looks so good in the bathroom next to the above sink:

Thank goodness B lets me have my way when it comes to decorating, I really want a purple dining room, similar to this, although he's not too happy with a dark shad of purple or bright one for that matter:

And in the bedroom, finally decided on a bed, and this is at TARGET:

I haven’t really decided on the living room, yet, I want something pale white or pale gray. But I found this bench on Etsy too, look at that style and that color!?!?! Oh that color!!!!! drool.....

Now I'll get back to work.

a simple kind of life

i find myself more and more attracted to a life away from the city, away from the concrete and steel beams that encompass my everyday life. my latest fantasy is one where we (b & i & the 4 critters of course!) leave it all behind for a beautiful farm in wyoming. one where we could have horses to ride, cows for fresh milk, chickens for fresh eggs. a place i could learn to build fences and run cattle, a place i could learn to become a morning person. i mean really, who wouldn't want to wake up to sights like these on the daily.

and lets not forget that you can find yellowstone here as well.

when i think of raising children, i don't picture it being here. i don't want my kids to be burdened with sounds of sirens every 10 minutes. And having to drive 30 minutes to get to a park or a place where the air is clean and they can be at one with nature. but i wonder if i’d find myself missing the city, the hustle and bustle of it all, i wonder if i would really have more time to be a better person, wife, mom somewhere where life wasn’t so hectic. it’s a nice dream, but i should get back to my current reality.

Things I want of now that the cold is here

Because now that the wedding is over, I'm free to concentrate on ME. ha. I kid, I kid! So the Houston cold is here, or whatever you call it when it's 90 degrees one day and 70 the next and so on.
A good pair of riding boots, similar to the one of following

A good pair of semi-skinny jeans preferably black

A nice high-waist pencil skirt

And I'm very much in like with Karen O's hair and I think I want it. Whats with that, every time I grow my hair out I want it short and when it's short I want it long. WTF?

a table for two please.

I can’t remember the last time I cooked a home-cooked meal. And I don’t mean the kind that includes me opening a box of Lundberg’s farms garlic risotto (http://www.lundberg.com/) and a box of quorn naked chic’n cutlets (http://www.quorn.us/) and making my own sauce and steaming some veggies. I mean the real, homemade from scratch type stuff like my Italian meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I recently found out that you can sub cauliflower instead of potatoes, less calories, less carbs and you’re adding another veggie! Nor have I made my enchiladas, rice and beans in more than a year. Really, I’m half Mexican, but I’m sure if I don’t use this knowledge of cooking, it’ll be forgotten. And lets not forget my favorite, the pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving where I over-do myself and make the likes of broccoli rice casserole, hash brown casserole (I’m the ONLY one who likes this!), macaroni & cheese, green bean casserole, brown sugar bourbon turkey, jack daniels chocolate chip pecan pie, gravy, banana pudding and the sorts. And I only say over-do myself because I REFUSE to allow anyone in the kitchen to assist me, I’m a martyr that way ;-). I don’t know what it is about this time of year that makes me want to cook, perhaps it is that it is so close the Thanksgiving and Christmas. Or maybe it’s the upcoming nuptials that makes me feel like I should be providing better sustenance for my soon to be hubby and myself and perhaps one day our children. It’s not that I don’t know how to cook, I do, believe me, I love it too, I just don’t have the time. Lately my days have been work and school, or work and run and homework and wedding stuff. Leaving not much time (or energy for that matter) to cook or to spend some good QT with my honey (it’s even been more than a month since we’ve had date night!). It is my sincere hope that after the wedding, I will be less preoccupied with other things and have more energy to focus on our home and our life and this includes cooking! So, if you’ve got any favorite recipes you’d be willing to share, please do, I’m open to new ideas!

eyes wide open.

I’ve had this feeling for a while that I couldn’t quite put into words. Happiness just didn’t cover it. Balanced didn’t either. I really and truly have no idea how to explain it all. For the first time, and yes I’m positive that it is truly the FIRST time in my life I feel at home. This really and truly began a few years ago when B and I began dating. He smelled familiar, being in his arms was warm and comforting, he made me smile and laugh like never before, I could get lost in his eyes. I enjoyed every moment with him and spent the moments without him waiting to get back to him. And 15 days away from our wedding, all of this still rings true. Recently, I was reading a friends blog about how she should explain to her young son that saying of home is where the heart is, is where you and the people you love are and it occurred to me that B is my home. I bought our house on my own, and lived it in with a great roomie, but it didn’t feel “lived in” until B and the pugs got there. I have a family now, my own family, my soon to be husband and our little family of four-legged babies. My own private paradise resides at 1140 Dorothy St.

Containing with this theme, as you know I’ve been training for the half-marathon coming Jan. 17, 2010. I’ve been doing anywhere between 9 and 16 miles a week for the past 6 weeks. My scale hasn’t budged, not even a little. But B told me that he can tell I’ve lost weight. So today, I did something that I’ve avoided doing for the last 4 years, I looked at myself, really looked at myself and what I discovered what that I’ve got the beginnings of a runners body. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a way to go. But wow, definition in my calves and thighs, thinner waist and arms, stronger back – it’s all there. I was able to do 3 miles in 37 minutes on Tuesday, a personal best so far. It wasn’t too long ago that I couldn’t do a half-mile without stopping 3 or 4 times. And it occurred to me that this is something I’ve done all by myself, for myself. I feel amazing inside and I feel good about my body, another first in my life.

well

in the last post i sounded like a crazy witchey woman! i realize that the important part of the wedding is actually getting married to an amazing person! i'm very very lucky. i couldn't have asked for a better honey.

18 days to go

we are really hurdling fast towards that wedding now. it's been fascinating to watch exactly how fast time really does fly. i can only image how much faster it goes when you have children. we are currently in the middle of RSVP and seating chart hell. i normally wouldn't have done a seating chart, but i was told by someone that it is considered to be a very thoughtful gesture to the guests. well that, AND the fact that there will be some folks there whom i just do not even want the off-chance happening that they could end up sitting at the same table. also, who are these people that do not rsvp? seriously? and it's fine if you can't make it, really, yes, we want you there or you wouldn't have received an invite, but don't leave us hanging. that puts us in a precarious predicament, we either include you on the food count, the chair and table count on the off chance that you MAY show up OR we don't and while it's true that the caterer always makes more food, so you'll have food to eat, there will not be a place for you to sit or something to sit on. and then WE look like the jerks, i can just hear it now "i can't believe you didn't include me, as IF i would miss this..." then i got a call from the linen people, ugh, i can't even type about it. to think, at one time i wanted to be a professional wedding/party planner. really? well maybe it would be easier if it wasn't my wedding.

25 days to go now....my head is hurtin' mighty bad.

Got 25 days till the wedding. Insanity ensues. It’s all a blur up to this point and I’m sure the next 3.5 weeks will be a blur as well. Last weekend was the respective bachelor/bachelorette parties. B went to New Orleans with some of his fellows while my amazing lady friends took me out for a night on the town. First stop, Max’s wine dive, for wonderful conversation, food and wine, of course! ;-) Then on to Spotlight Karaoke, to continue the drink-a-thon and sing! I had a fabulous time, I drank too much and spent most of Sunday in between naps and food times on the sofa. Ugh. I don’t see how folks do those the day before the wedding, or even the WEEKEND before, I’ll need these next 3 weeks to re-coop! All is coming together though, still need a few things but for the most part it’s all taken care of. I can’t wait for it to get here, while we’re not taking a honeymoon immediately, we are taking the week after the wedding off, to bask in the glow of newlywed bliss. Thanks again to my lovely ladies, you sure know how to make a gal feel special.

i'm quite certain

that i could build an entire room around this chair. that is how much i love it. it will be mine.

brent was worried about what i'd do with all my time after the wedding was over. well, project re-furnish/re-decorate house will be on. took brent to look at some couches over the weekend. this is what we found.

these are some headboards that we agree on, they're at target. and the last one at west elm.

wow. it's a blogging trend.

so, i've long been told that i'm obsessed with couches/sofas. and i do admit that i have an affinity for them. and i am currently in the mindset of painting the kitchen three shades lighter than it currently is, more of burnt orange than a red. i'm also in the frame of mind that i want new bedroom furniture in the master. i want something vintage with a padded headboard. b, being the wonderful man he is, of course, leaves the decor to me. so while i was hunting down bedrooms, i ran across some sofas that i now am in love with. and while i'm being honest here, i've been wanting a new sofa for quite some time, and a new sitting chair. anyhow. here are some of the beds and sofa's i've run across. i actually kind of want to move again JUST so i can start over with a clean canvas. ha!

wanting, needed, to justify this spending.....

not that i've purchased these items, but i want to, badly. if you've not checked her out, do so. Rachel Roy.

Another one bites the dust.

Another year that is! I’m officially 30 years old. And I can say that it doesn’t feel any different than 29. Perhaps I’m focused on the wedding and school and so this isn’t the biggest thing happening right now. I will say that I feel much more inspired, more inclined to push harder to accomplish my life goals and the goals of my soon to be hubby. Turns out I’ve only got 16 more classes to finish my degree, I thought it was 18, so that’s great news. Then only 6 more for my minor, so 22 total, I’m hoping to be done in 2.5 years. That means that I will have to take a summer session here and there and potentially bump my semesters from 9 hours to 12 because at the rate I’m going now I wouldn’t be done until close to 34 and well that would make B close to 40 and I’d like to have a year or two of no school to spend time with him before the talk or thought of children is a constant thing.

On another note, I’m still training for the half-marathon in January and doing fairly well. It will get harder to do once the semester presses on, but I’ve got to make myself do it. I’m looking at bikes too. I can’t decide if I should get just a plain bike or (huffy as my friend at work says) or a nicer bike. Max says that it’s better to have more bike than you need, and I have to say I agree with him a bit. What if one day I decide to do the MS150, I’d need a good bike that is good for street/gravel AND that is good for long term rides. But I just love the idea of getting a bike that is an old school cruising type bike with a basket on it. Decisions, decisions.

Lastly, I got some really great news yesterday. A place I’d interviewed with some time ago (almost a year ago) called and asked for another meeting. Said they were looking to do something soon. Yet, another decision to make. I love the folks I work with, really, some of them are like family to me and I have leeway here, plus seniority, great salary, OT and tons of PTO, but the fact remains that I’m at the top of my game here. There is nothing new for me to learn or new for me to do. This place would be a great opportunity for a change and to learn new skill sets. So is safe and slow the way to go or do I change it up? Maybe turning 30 and getting married is enough change for one year? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

we know who you are.

i still can't believe it. it still hasn't sunk in. you're not here and yet you're constantly in our thoughts and hearts. sure i've run the gamete of emotions, denial, anger, fear, frustration, and of course, it's not fair. truth be told, it's not fair and it never is. i find it difficult to form complete thoughts that don't include expletives when it comes to them, i'm jealous that they had the time with you, i'm angry for the lack of consideration and even more angry at the total cowardly acts after the fact. those people didn't know you, at least, not the real you. we know who you are, and we always will. thank you for all you extended to me, kindness and forgiveness and understanding and lots of smiles.

vacation all i ever needed.

i really forgot how being totally out of touch with the rest of the world is so very refreshing!
this is the second week back from paradise and unfortunately, i'm already back to the daily grind. cancun was amazing and beautiful. chichen itza was breath-taking. the resort was fantastical (thanks Rachel Ray!) it was wonderful to sit next to my honey, on the beach chair under an umbrella listening to the waves and reading a book. but 4 days wasn't enough, i could have done 10 more! anyhow...here are a few choice photos from the trip...if you want more go to my photobucket account here (http://s20.photobucket.com/albums/b235/momo38/Cancun%202009/)

This was a beautiful "sink hole" in the mountain.

The resort had a club on-site called galaxy....star wars themed. awesome.

The BIG pyramid at Chichen Itza.

Lovers.

cha, cha, changes.

i can't believe it's been almost a month since i last posted. life is just flying by so fast, i hardly have time to take it all in, let alone write about it on here. anyhow, as you can see my blog as undergone some beautifying, and i must say that i am very happy with the way it turned out. Lyndsay, this lovely lady, mother and wifey set this all up, you can get more info here http://www.beautifymyblog.com/ i've always thought she was the bees knees!

i registered for the houston half-marathon today. the race in january 17, 2010. i thought it'd be a great way to start off my 30th year on this planet, well that and being ms. mahler! but i really want to start pushing myself to new limits, to try new things. not that 30 is old, but these past 30 years have gone by so fast, i remember what i wore to my 14th birthday party and here i am, 30 years old (well, almost) and i fear that if i let the next 30 years go by without forcing myself to step-up to the plate and actually DO all the things i've always said i wanted to do, than i never will. i feel i have to make up for lost time, i spent the majority of my 20's in an intoxicated cloud and it's hard for me to fathom that the last 7 years have actually happened and are now over. so with this new decade in life, comes a new lease on it as well. i hope i don't disappoint myself too badly!

Rants and Raves...but mostly rants.

I’ve seen your type before. I see you on the side of the road; walking the streets late at night and early in the morning, scrounging for food and water. I’ve seen you look at me with wanting, curious eyes only to be frightening when I try to approach. I’ve seen you, your spirit broken and you’ve given up. Please know that your pain is my pain. Your hunger does not go unnoticed; your scares do not go unseen; your death is not forgotten and while you may not have been given the love you deserved, that all deserve, you will are loved now and in your memory I; we, fight on in your honor.

Sorry to be so depressing. I just sometimes am so overwhelmed at the lack of empathy in the human race. How can someone just hit an animal, any animal and continue on down the road as if it didn’t just kill a living, breathing thing. That’s what happened to my Maizey, someone just hit her, and kept going, like she didn’t matter, like she didn’t mean anything to anyone. How can someone pass by an animal, that is obviously is so much pain like they are not even there. That’s how I came about Milo, poor little soul, nearly hairless and starving. Then there are those that are rescued from being tied up at intersections, or kicked out of a moving car, put in a box and thrown into a body of water. I just don’t understand how some people come to be so void of compassion. Perhaps it was never there in the first place, or perhaps something horrific was done to them. But I do understand how it runs around, because any time I see these atrocities committed against a living breathing thing, I too believe that the person responsible needs atone for their sins, an eye for an eye. The people of this planet have an obligation to teach their children right from wrong, to help those in need and to have respect for all living things. While this breaks my heart, I am thrilled to know that there are people out there who do fight for their beliefs. I am happy to know that we can, I do not believe that we are too far gone, but it getting harder and harder to believe that. At the end of the day, there is only a four letter word that can keep people going – hope. Hoping things get better, hoping someone will do something, hoping the problem will go away, but hope is nothing without action.

That ends your PSA for the day.

Re-Fi = ReNu?

So. B and I are “closing” on the re-fi of the house today. So, B welcome to the world of home ownership. Don’t get me wrong, I KNOW that the last 2 years you’ve been at the house you’ve paid half of everything and done a ton of maintenance on the house, so you’re very well acquainted with the responsibilities of home ownership. But now the house will have your name on title as well. I can’t believe I’ve been in that house 3 years already. Gone through lots of changes there; I moved in to the house with my baby girl Maizey and lost her 8 months afterwards. Rescued Milo off the side of the road and lost him a little over a year after. Rescued Mya and her pups, Amelia, Loki and Ethyl – today only Ethyl and Mya remain, but of course added Bruno and Rufus to the brood. So it’s and even household three loud barking women and three heavily shedding men. Although it's been a rough road at this house, a lot of pain with loosing all these babies...I did gain one two more and my B. I love you, B!



(my b!)



(the sweet little milo)



(The babies Amelia and Loki)




(and the doggie love of my life, my Maizey)

drinking myself sober.

so 30 is just around the corner. i'm amazed that i've made it this far, i remember being like 15 thinking i wouldn't live past the age of 21. here i am about to be 30. about to get married, after i said i'd never marry again. but this time it's right. so, turning 30 doesn't seem so scary after all. while the thought that perhaps the next 70 years (if i'm lucky) are for the most unknown, it's the bumps in the road i look forward to most. will i have children? what will i be when i grow up? will we stay in houston? none of this really matters to me anymore. i don't care what happens along the way. i have some amazing girlfriends, really the best anyone could ask for. i have an amazing family. and i have an amazing fiancee. i really am very happy right now, so here's to the next 30 years.

i don't see it.

the big deal about lady gaga. i really don't. i tried, really, gave it a good try...because i do have some bubble gum pop on my ipod, great for working out...but i just can't get into her stuff and can't understand the majority of her fashion choices or the current obsession people have of her.

back on the wagon...or, is it off the wagon?

i was pretty diligent from january until just about the beginning of may with this working out/dieting and loosing weight thing. but, alas, i've grown bored and tired of it. perhaps because i lost 12 pounds and hovered there, i increased my cardio by 20 minutes and upped it to 4-times a week and still nothing. but something happened, i just realized that my wedding dress will be here in like 3 weeks and i'm basically the same size i was when i bought it, SO not what i wanted and then i realized that holy mother of the power of christ compels you that the wedding is in like 5 months. c*@!sucker motherf*&@er that snuck up on me. so, i'm giving myself the rest of this week/weekend to indulge in beer, wine, delectable desserts and relaxing, then boot camp starts monday! also, i need to revamp what i eat during the day, i'm so good at breakfast and lunch but then snacking throughout the day is my weakness!

which brings me to my next subject. i think i'm bored at my job. not bored in the sense of nothing to do, rather bored in that i'm over it. i've been doing this particular job for close to 5 years and been with the same people and same environment for close to 10! how the eff does that happen at the age of 29?!?! i'm not sure if that says i'm too scared to take a leap or make a change, or perhaps i'm not marketable in another field at this juncture? or maybe i'm just so overwhelmed and i feel like i can't tackle anything and perhaps the perspective will change when and if i finally get a new assistant. which also reminds me, i interviewed two potential candidates today: one was WAY over-qualified and is used to being in my position and seems like she'd cut me off at the pass every chance she got; and the other is not too qualified and seems perfectly trainable, however i get the feeling that she needs some hand-holding. regardless, i've updated the ol' resume and replied to posters on career and monster, etc. and have an interview at a placement agency next week, so lets see what happens.

yummy

How beautiful is this? Seriously, it looks so yummy, but I don't think I'd be able to eat it. It's like a work of art. I'd order a few, but this shop is in South Africa (http://cupcakedlights.blogspot.com/) . This just reminds me...when the eff are we getting the Houston Sprinkles.